I don’t know. I sleep very little these days. I don’t know what I’m doing; actually, I’m doing nothing. Like today—I’ve been awake since morning and did nothing. I want to study, but I can’t. I want to enjoy things, but I can’t. Movies don’t entertain me, songs don’t engage me, video games feel childish, talking to people feels like a chore, and nothing pleases me. I’m always overthinking, stuck in random scenarios I create out of nowhere. It feels like I’m trapped inside my own mind, and it kind of sucks. There are many things I need to do, but here I am, lost in my mind, in a dreamland where I’m winning the world and everything is perfect.
This isn’t new; I’ve always been like this. I was always great at making random stories to please my brain. Since childhood, I’ve been lost in my dreams. Maybe it’s because I’m not who I want to be, not who I should be. There’s a hollow in my life that I fill with these random thoughts.
I don’t know how long this will go on, but it’s really time to stop this.
